Family Forte: Learning the Dreaded “S” Word
By: Topher Wiles
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| My eyes still get misty when I see a Camaro racing like this one I spotted in Bowling Green! |
At a whopping three days old, I
was at the Union Hill drag strip in Nashville as my dad and uncle raced their
1968 Nova and 1969 Camaro. It’s hard to
express the emotion I have toward those cars.
I know, I shouldn’t get that attached to inanimate objects. I know, it’s
weird that I can just see a royal blue ’69 Camaro and my eyes get misty. I know, my attraction to the sound of a
revving and unmuffled 454 Chevy big block borders on being an unhealthy
obsession. I was heartbroken as a twelve year old testosterone-driven
boy when my family sold both cars. I cried when both the beloved Camaro and
Nova were loaded on trailers and hauled away.
SACRIFICE
My seventh
grade maturity certainly didn’t understand what a sacrifice my dad was making
for me, and for a time, I resented him for it.
My dad and I had spent each warm Friday night at the Clarksville
Speedway, each Saturday at the Music City Raceway, and each Sunday morning at
the Crossville Dragway. Those weekends had
rapidly dwindled as I turned 10 years old and became interested in baseball,
tennis, and basketball. Saturdays throughout
the years changed from watching dad burn rubber to him watching me pitch on the
diamond. No longer were Fridays spent
tuning up the engine in the garage. Now
we were spending money tuning up my hitting technique in the batting cages. When dad made that huge sacrifice of selling
the cars that had been such a big part of his life, I was understandably
grief-stricken at losing the cars I had hoped to drive myself. Little did I know that dad sold the cars to
pay for my hotel rooms at all-star tournaments, my pitching lessons with famed
coaches, and my desire for higher caliber baseball bats. Sacrifice was a word I understood so little
about.
Fast-forward
to 2016. The Wiles family was nestled
into a small community in southern Indiana.
They still said “yall” and served good sweet tea, so we felt right at
home. I was finding great success
serving as minister for a congregation in need and as a leader of several
community organizations. Our family was deeply
involved in the local homeschool group, enjoyed
a vibrant social circle, and had just bought our first house. We were enjoying
God-given success in many areas when we encountered that dreaded word: sacrifice.
Merriam-Webster’s
definition of sacrifice reads this way: “the destruction or surrender of something
for the sake of something else.” My
wife, kids, and I felt the pain of uprooting the life we had built when we moved
back to Tennessee. Gabriel and Ethan
took it especially hard as they traded their comfortable home with so many
friends, neighbors, and church family for living in an cramped RV in unfamiliar
Bear Cove. The move would prove to be
tougher than we knew, but it was all worth the sacrifice.
What
would make us uproot and move our family to unfamiliar territory? It was sacrifice. The man that sacrificed his dragsters for his
son’s baseball was now in need of my sacrifice.
My mother had just died, and my dad had suffered a stroke. The neurologist said those dreaded words: “He’ll
likely never recover from this one to regain full functionality in life.” My dad was in need of someone to help take care of him and keep him living independently
in his own home. Thus my family chose to
“surrender” our success for the sake of my father’s livelihood.
Yes, it
was hard. Yes, we were uncomfortable for
a while. Yes, my pride was blown as I
went from being the well-known, well-loved, leading minister of one town to
being the untrusted new-guy in White County.
Yet we don’t regret that decision one bit. My dad thanks me every time we have lunch
together, whenever I’m repairing plumbing leaks, or when we stand outside to
chat at the top of the handicap ramp we built on his house.
Sacrifice. It’s a tough word, but it is essential that
all members of a family become acquainted with it. In moments of sacrifice that we see the
truest expressions of love. Whether it
is sacrificing a dream car for your child’s hobby or sacrificing your dream
lifestyle for your aging parents’ livelihood, your sacrificial acts build a
relationship bond with others that are hard for any of life’s trials to
break.
What do
you need to sacrifice? Could it be that
you need to give up some time at the office to coach your kid’s sports
team? Do you need to let go of a hobby
for a time so that you and your wife can have date nights again? Are you willing to spend time in rehab to
break an addiction that is tearing your family apart? Do you need to choose between your dream home
and caring for your elderly parents who sacrificed so much for you? If so, I encourage you to sacrifice for the
sake of someone else. Sacrifice for
love. You’ll be glad you did.
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life
for his friends.” – John 15:12-13
Epilogue: By God’s grace my
dad has surpassed the neurologist’s predictions and over time has returned back
to a normal lifestyle in his home. Our
family is developing friendships through local sports teams, the homeschool
co-op, and the YMCA. God has gifted me as I now find myself surrounded by good
people and supporters through various servant-leadership opportunities in White
County. Best of all, God has loved my
family so dearly that we now feel right at home with the wonderful saints who
worship with Central Church of Christ here in beautiful Sparta, TN. The word “forte” comes from the latin word “fortis” meaning strength. Our weekly Family Forte article in The Expositor is the effort of family at CentralChurch of Christ to give your family the love, care, and attention it needs to become a stronger version of itself. If we can help you in any way, please contact us at Central Church of Christ through email, topherwiles@spartacoc.com, or through our website, www.spartacoc.com.