Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Family Forte: The Power of Remembering

Family Forte: The Power of Remembering
By: Topher Wiles 

                Get ready husbands, because Valentine’s Day is only two weeks away!  While it may not be a high priority on your list, and she may say it isn’t important to her, I want you to remember the beauty of your bride anyway.  Remembering her, honoring her love, celebrating her beauty is a choice you can make that will strengthen your marriage, your family, and really up your Valentine’s Day game.  Remembering my wife has changed my life, and I think it can change yours too.
                Now, I’ve got a lot of moments to remember in life.  It was through tear-filled eyes I've seen the amazing births of all four of my children.  I remember throwing a no-hitter, winning tennis tournaments, and besting every adult in a 5k race.  I've completed a Tough Mudder, a Spartan Race, and a 26.2 mile marathon.  I've jumped from an 83 foot waterfall near Sparta and spelunked in the deep dark recesses of Indiana, Kentucky, and Tennessee cave systems.  I've seen rainbows in Siberia and sat in solitude on mountain tops in Honduras on a star-filled night.  It’s true, I’ve been blessed to remember some of life’s great moments.
                Yet I can't remember any one of those experiences generating as much excitement, passion, and an overwhelming sense of joy as one special moment.  In June 2004 the doors in the back of the auditorium opened at a sweet church in Franklin, TN.  The sunlight danced and radiated around my soon-to-be wife as she was revealed to my eyes for the first time in her wedding dress.  She was stunningly, weak-in-the knees, take-your-breath-away gorgeous.  I couldn’t stop smiling at her through the entire ceremony.  Not a one of those amazing experiences mentioned earlier compare with the vision God gave me of my bride beautifully dressed for her husband on our wedding day. 
                Perhaps it was because we had anticipated and prepared for the wedding for so long, since the moment we started dating.  Maybe it was because we had saved physical intimacy for the wedding night.  Maybe it was because it was at that moment in the wedding that I was about to kiss Ashley on the lips for the very first time ever.  Yes, you read that right, we didn’t kiss till our wedding day!   Whatever the reason, I was ecstatic and exuberant at the sight of this woman as she floated up the aisle to stand hand-in-hand before me.  I've smiled a lot, but I don’t remember ever smiling bigger than that moment in life.
                Why is remembering that special moment important?  It is remembering her beauty that carries my marriage forward when the days seem long.  Remembering her till-death-do-you-part commitment re-energizes my commitment to her.  Remembering our vows compels me to make the move to work things out after a disagreement.  Remembering her radiating smile beaming back at me reminds me to work hard to keep that smile of hers shining.  Remembering the love and passion on our wedding day motivates me to celebrate with my bride on Valentine’s Day, on our anniversary, and throughout the year.
                Husbands, I stumble through life and marriage often, tripping up due to distractions and mistakes.  Let’s face it, not every day is fun, exciting, passionate and wonderful.  There are moments when you get sick of her morning sickness.  There are times that you fall into a heap physically exhausted because you worked so hard to give her the best of her dreams.  There are periods when the kids’ schedules take such a prominent priority in your life that you find you and your wife running different directions every night of the week.  Taking time to remember her is one of the best tools I pull from my relationship toolbox that keeps my 15 years of marriage fresh and on the right path. 
                As it turns out, I’m not alone in remembering.  Wiser and better men than me have used the remembering resource for motivation in life.  Wise King Solomon shared this wisdom too when he wrote, “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.”  (Prov 5:18)  That great motivator, Paul the apostle, reminded men when he wrote, “Husbands, love your wives like Christ loved the church.” (Eph 5:25a) Even John, the author of Revelation, connected to this special moment when he compared Heaven to a wedding ceremony.  "I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband."  (Rev 21:2)  
                Husbands, if you want a stronger family, a better life, and a refreshed soul, you can start any day, but especially use this Valentine’s Day to remember your bride in all her beauty. 

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” – Proverbs 18:22

The word “forte” comes from the latin word “fortis” meaning strength.  Our weekly Family Forte article in The Expositor is the effort of family at CentralChurch of Christ to give your family the love, care, and attention it needs to become a stronger version of itself.  If we can help you in any way, please contact us at Central Church of Christ through email,, or through our website,