by: Topher Wiles
*Scroll to the bottom to see a video of Micah's first ride*
Micah made his bold and resolute proclamation at the dinner
table Monday night stating, “Dad, I would like to ride my bike without training
wheels tonight.”
Children often look forward to the next rite of passage;
that moment that marks a transition from one stage of life to the next. It could be getting to start kindergarten, putting
on makeup for the first time, receiving a first cell phone, going on a first
date, or taking that driver’s test. The striking
way my five-year-old distinctly made his proclamation let me know this rite of
passage needed my full attention and it needed to happen soon. Around the dinner table, the family changed
plans for the night intending to see this monumental achievement in the life of
a child done properly in a sloped parking lot.
We arrived at the White County High School parking lot about
7:30pm. If you haven’t parked there yet,
I’ll let you in on a bicycling tip, the hill the school is built on makes the
parking lot perfect for coasting. That’s
right, I said, “coasting.” The act of
gliding on a bicycle without pedaling is key to riding a bicycle and leaning
into turns without training wheels. Many
parents get frustrated with their children when trying to teach them to ride
without training wheels by going straight into pedal power.
A youth minister years ago told me the secret
truth to removing training wheels: remove
the pedals first and focus on coasting.
Gabriel (my eldest son) snagged the 16mm wrench, and we
removed pedals while raising the training wheels. Micah, who’s been pedaling for years on trikes,
big wheels, and his “big boy bike” with training wheels, didn’t understand why
we removed his pedals and placed his bike at the high end of the parking lot. “Get on and coast” was the only instruction
we gave. Micah studied the situation, looking
down at his pedal-less bike then up at the parking lot. His eyes lit up bright as the mental light
bulb turned on. With both feet on the
asphalt, he pushed forward and began to pick up speed with me jogging along beside. “Coasting is fun dad,” Micah yelled as he
flew down the hill for his fifth time, learning to lean into the turns. We put the pedals back on and Micah was a
blur of smiles and speed the rest of the night as the entire family cheered him
on.
Helping Micah achieve the next step of cycling prowess
reminded me of a fundamental principle of child rearing. To give your kids the most
freedom they can safely enjoy, we need to purposely give them safety nets and
training to help them on their way.
Before you turn your daughter loose with that pursuing young
man, consider the “training wheels” you can use to help stabilize her till she’s
ready to coast and pedal. Ensure that
she’s got the proper expectations of how she should be treated by giving her
regular dates with her dad, uncle, or grandpa.
Consider keeping the training wheels on as first dates in
public places can chaperoned by mom or an older sibling. While you give her freedom to coast, make
sure safety devices are in place, such as a fully charged phone, curfew, and “code
emojis” so that she can send a quick message to get her out of trouble. Training wheels and coasting practice will go
a long way to ensure she isn’t scarred for life from dating disasters.
Before that first cell phones hits his fingers, consider
training your son on proper internet usage by keeping a desktop computer (I
know, ancient right?) in a public place in the house for early internet usage
training. Make sure to openly put safety
apps on the cell phone such as time limiters and internet accountability apps
to give them an extra safety net when the temptation to access unsafe material arises. Consider having a “cellphone cabinet” in the
kitchen or living room where kid’s cell phones get charged and stored during
bedtime hours. As studies show the
potential pitfalls and dangers for young kids and teenagers, proper training
and coasting practice will pay big dividends in your teens’ development.
I’m fond of the current tiered driving regulations in
Tennessee and I’m a big fan of parents keeping kids accountable to them. Before a teen is turned loose with a car and
no restrictions, they must follow the training wheel/coasting regimen which is
as follows: 1) Pass a road knowledge
exam to get the learners permit; 2) Keep a learners permit for 180 days, have 50
hours of driving experience with a parent or instructor, and pass a road skills
test to receive an Intermediate Restricted License; 3) Hold an Intermediate
Restricted license for one year without having accumulated more than six points
on driving record before obtaining the Intermediate Unrestricted License. If you’ve completed these three milestones of
training safely by the time you’re 18, then you’re ready for the Class D
regular driver’s license. Tennessee is
getting better at providing training and safety nets when kids get behind the
wheel.
Wise King Solomon shared, “Train up a child in the way
he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Prov 22:6) To
enjoy the most freedom in life when we are older it takes purposeful incremental
training when we are younger. Pray for
wisdom, do some research, and ask other parents how and when to take the pedals
off and let your kids coast on the path of life. May you find success as you as you learn to
train your family to enjoy the freedoms life has to offer.
“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather
than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those
who have been trained by it.” – Hebrews 12:11
The word “forte” comes from the latin word “fortis” meaning strength. Our weekly Family Forte article in The Expositor is the effort of family at Central Church of Christ to give your family the love, care, and attention it needs to become a stronger version of itself. If we can help you in any way, please contact us at Central Church of Christ through email, topherwiles@spartacoc.com, or through our website, www.spartacoc.com.