Five Married Vacation Do’s for Dudes

Living Lessons:  Five Married Vacation Do’s for Dudes

By: Christopher Wiles

     When a deacon at church suggested I use some of the Christmas bonus we received to take my wife on a vacation, I thought, “Ashley will never go for that.”   She’s a thrifty penny pincher that has been one of the primary forces in ensuring our family is in sound financial condition.  A vacation just doesn’t fit her near future plans of home upgrades, children’s orthodontics, and vehicle repairs.  Hello $30 airfare and remote island camping!  This article isn’t detailing our recent trip (which you can learn more about by CLICKING HERE) but is about wisdom I gleaned from our first real vacation together (sans kids & work) in nearly a decade.   While this is directed to husbands, we could all benefit from more of these moments.

1)      Invest time in things she wants.  Sunrise seashelling doesn’t sound too exciting does it? 

It sounds so mundane that just saying the word “seashelling” five times fast seems like it would be more adventurous than actually going. I would rather be fishing, yet my wife’s morning suggestion turned out to be my favorite part of the trip (and picking up a live octopus IS adventurous).  Invest time and energy doing what she wants to do.  Plus, you'll be grateful when she invests time in your interests in return, like when she came up with the idea of using a seashore vine for my fish stringer!

2)      Cook the meals.  Does your wife organize the meals at home?  In many marriages, whether she has a full time job or is a full time stay at home wife, your wife plans meals.  Give her a vacation from meal preparation.  It doesn’t matter if you are sautéing vegetables over an open fire, making instant Spanish rice over your little camp stove, or cooking up a wild, protected, illegal fish (I still plea ignorance); spend time cooking the meals for her.  Don’t pass up the opportunity to let her sit and read a book while you do the work this time. (For extra deposits in the old “Love Bank”, make sure to do the dishes too!)
3)      Let her tell the story.  You’ve invited the neighboring campsite residents over to your fire to eat some of the massive amount of Spanish rice you cooked (portion planning was never your forte anyway), so make sure she isn’t only included in the conversation, but that she leads some of it.  When the other couple asks about your kids or how you met, remember that these are parts of life that she cherishes and spends more time focusing on than you.  Defer to your beautiful bride to share these joyful moments and enjoy it as her smile grows with each word.
4)      Slow down.  You’re a dude; you’re adventurous; you’re successful because you pack every resourceful moment you have in life full of practical and beneficial work.  It really wouldn’t hurt you to plan to let your wife read a book in your hammock, while you sit quietly next to her, ready for any conversation she might be willing to have.  You don’t have to squeeze every ounce of adventure out of every moment.  Your wife’s relaxation and conversation can produce wonderful adventures later.  Trust me (Wink Wink)!
5)      Pack her Bible.  You are the “spiritual head” of your house. 

Make sure her Bible goes on the trip with her.  Are you packing light for a flight?  Since you are handy with technology, make sure it gets installed on her cell phone/kindle/ipad device.  Make sure you read it every morning when you wake up to set the tone for the day.  You may be surprised by the deep spiritual insight your wife offers that benefits your vacation like when she comes up with this tidbit from Psalm 104 after picking up that octopus that tried to eat your hand! "How many are your works, Lord! In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your  creatures. ²⁵ There is the sea, vast and spacious, teeming with creatures beyond number—living things both large and small."

Above all, let the following verses guide your life and vacation planning.

²⁵ “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her ²⁶ to make her holy, cleansing  her by the washing with water through the word, ²⁷ and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. ²⁸ In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. ²⁹ After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church.” – Ephesians 5:25-29

Even a short & inexpensive vacation like ours (2 nights on a island) can be a great spiritual boon in your relationship.  I want to give a big "Thank you!" to the deacon that encouraged me to invest in my wife.

Quick Florida Getaway!

Following the advice of a church deacon, I took my wife on a quick Florida getaway to a remote island for 3 days. We made a lot of wild and tame friends along the way (human and animal alike!) These photos are now part of our fond memories. I would be happy to tell you all about it so you may enjoy similar adventures with your loved ones. One of our funniest moments was my shock at turning over a morning seashell to find an octopus emerging! We threw our found wildlife back after getting acquainted with them.

Click here to be taken to our Google Public Album of the trip.
Public Album

Following the advice of a church deacon, I took my wife on a quick Florida getaway to a remote island for 3 days. We...
Posted by Christopher Wiles on Wednesday, January 13, 2016

"Praise the Lord, my soul. Lord my God, you are very great; you are clothed with splendor and majesty. How many are your works, Lord! In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures. There is the sea, vast and spacious, teeming with creatures beyond number— living things both large and small." - Psalm 104:1,24-25

Here are some of the trip breakdowns:
$50 Membership to Frontier Airways to get cheaper flights for a year
$30 Cost of roundtrip flight per person to Ft. Myers from Indianapolis
$25 Cost of checking one bag full of camping gear
$49 Cost of Thrifty rental car at airport for 3 days
$20 Cost of one night of tent camping on Cayo Costa Island
$45 Cost of round trip 6-mile ferry ride to get to the island per person
$9 Cost of Marina parking per night
$30 Cost of food & camping stove fuel at Walmart in Ft. Myers (Can't carry fuel on an airplane)
$10 Cost of renting a kayak on the island for 1 hour as I hunted for manatees to photograph
$17 Cost of Florida fishing license for 3 days.

https://www.floridastateparks.org/park/Cayo-Costa
https://www.flyfrontier.com/
http://tropicstaradventures.com/cayo.htm

Now that I have a frontier airline membership, I get a cheaper discount all year long and can get that discount for as many as 6 people who go with me, so I can take my whole family cheaper. The economic kicker on this whole trip was the cost of the ferry ride. You can only get to the island by ferry or boat rental, and I couldn't find a boat rental cheaper than the ferry for two people. We're looking into making the travel to the island cheaper on our next trip with the boys.

The campground was amazing and secluded. They have tent sites and cabin sites, right there next to the beach. This was our favorite place in the world to camp so far. There is so much woods hiking and beach hiking to enjoy. The shelling on the island is superb as it is so remote. The dolphins were wonderfully playful, coming within 20 feet of Ashley to get a good look at her. And the fishing, wow! It was great fun all the way around. God's glory was definitely on display!

On the island, we met people from Spencer IN, Cookeville TN, Canton OH, Seattle WA, Nebraska, Venezuela, South Korea, and England.

Declaring War

Living Lessons:  Declare War!

By: Christopher Wiles

     It didn’t take long for the leaders to declare war.  The very first moment when it was realized that an enemy had crept into our territory, total war while the goal of total annihilation was declared.  All the troops were mustered.  High grade weapons were purchased.  Defensive and offensive tactics were researched.  Biochemical vs. natural warfare was a hot topic due to the possible long term effect on the innocent.  Within minutes we had the enemy contained and within a couple hours, the total extermination of a race had begun within our borders. 

     That race that faced  instant wrath of our efforts was known as “Pediculus humanus capitis.” 

You may know it by the common name “Head Lice”.  I had sisters and I remember how awful it was in our household when I was young, how hard it was to get rid of once it spread to other members of the family.  The itching and scratching of head lice is a common problem to school aged children, second in the United States only to the common cold. Yet this commonality of the occurrence didn’t abate our swift and decisive actions to exterminate the enemy of head lice from our home.

     Within hours, every boy in our family had a hair cut, as longer hair is a breeding ground for our opposition.  Every scalp of each member of the family was meticulously combed by both Ashley and I in search of this enemy.  Every member had showers.  The only member who was visited with the rotten pests had their head coated in coconut oil (look up this natural remedy here) then wrapped with saran wrap and a shower cap for hours, on top of being combed at least 20 times within the first day alone.  Everyone has been combed every day since, in which we are glad to say, there has been no more evidence of our enemy.  Yet this won’t stop us from combing every day for the next two weeks to ensure victory.

     Ashley and I are quick to unite in eradicating things like head lice when they invade our home as I’m sure you are too.  Even more devastating than head lice, what do we do when sin enters our life?  When a family member comes home drunk, what do we do?  When a husband cheats on the family taxes, what is our response?  When our teenager accesses pornography on their Twitter account, how do we handle it?  When a child is openly defiant and disobedient to parents.  When an older child declares “there are no good churches to go to”, thereby ignoring the commandments of fellowship and encouragement given by God and disregarding the examples of His people in the Holy Scripture, what do we do in this spiritual war? 

     

     Paul says we are in a spiritual battle again forces arrayed against us and he urges us to fight against invading sin! “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” (Eph 6:12) “What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?2 By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?” (Rom 6:1-2)
      You are called to fight, to wage war, to do battle against the foes that rise up in your home. Would you turn a blind eye to head lice? Of course you wouldn’t, then don’t ignore sin. Brothers and sisters, the cost of sin is far worse than head lice. Remove it completely from your home by swift, decisive, and gentle (Gal 6:1) action, and there will be sweet relief. “Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin.” (Psalm 1:5) “The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove the disgrace of his people from all the earth. The LORD has spoken. “ (Isaiah 25:8)

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Santa visits the Moose Lodge

We had a wonderful time snapping photos of Santa visiting the Moose Lodge on December 19th.  Here are those photos from our gallery.  You can click on a photo or follow the link below to download the high resolution photos to your computer or smartphone device.

Link for High Resolution Photos

Dear Fanatical Star Wars Parents, Are You Nuts?

I get it, some of you were ignorant (like me who didn't look at the ratings).  I get it, some of you are naive (like me who assumed it would be just like the "old days").  I get it, some of your moral resolve has slowly been whittled away with small frequent degrading strikes like the way Yoda wore down Count Dooku (episode II).

But to say the Star Wars Episode VII - The Force Awakens is "PERFECT"?  To glorify this movie in front of younglings?  To take little padawan learners to the theater for a viewing after you've already seen its content?  C'mon!  You must not have seen the same Star Wars Episode VII that I saw!

Yes. It was extremely entertaining.
Yes. It was wonderfully nostalgic.
Yes. I was hooked on the story line and I'm hungry for more. 
Yes. It was vulgar and violent for children. 

The people I'm writing this to are those parents who are taking their young children to the Star Wars movie KNOWING THAT IT IS RATED PG-13. 

So maybe you're ok with paying money to hear those 4+ cuss words that my wife and I cringed at. Maybe you're ok with the opening sequence being filled with graphically and gratuitously violent deaths of innocent victims (seriously, that doesn't even count as a spoiler that's the standard opening for action movies).  Maybe you're ok with heroes having family dynamics and conflict resolution skills that are worse than Family Guy, Beavis & Butthead, and the Simpsons combined. Maybe you have a 15 year old who loves light sabers but you don't want your 5 year old to miss out on a Chewbacca moment. 

BUT THIS MOVIE IS NOT PERFECT NOR IS INTENDED FOR CHILDREN.  

I know it's easy now to say "yes" to everything your child wants, but follow the wisdom of Yoda and continue in your training and education as a parent.


Do you know what the PG-13 rating means? 
Here it is from movies.about.com, and I quote, "PG-13 rated movies stand for Parental Guidance-13, with parents strongly cautioned, as some material may not be suitable for children under 13. "

Why is it not suitable for young children? It's because of scientifically quantifiable FACTS like this quote from a CNN (not known for conservative views) article, "Kids under seven have a difficult time distinguishing between fantasy and reality" in regards to violence.

What does introducing frequent movies with violence do to your kids?  Here's what www.pedsforparents.com says:
"Research has identified three ways media violence affects children:

1. Increased fear: also known as the “mean and scary world” syndrome; children, particularly girls, become more afraid of the world around them.
2. Desensitization to real-life violence: in violent cartoon shows, violence is portrayed as humorous, and realistic consequences of violence are seldom shown.
3. Increased aggressive behavior: young children are more likely to exhibit aggressive behavior after viewing violent movies."

What that means is that your children might not be able to differentiate between Anakin beheading Count Dooku (Episode III) with a light saber and ISIS beheading their "enemies" in CNN videos. 

Your child might exhibit the same fear at massive amounts of storm trooper laser gun blaster fights as they would a gunfight video out of Chicago on Youtube.  Yet it might mean that your child is being desensitized and doesn't feel any fear, guilt, or sadness at the real events happening in life because they've been glorified in movies since they were young.

My 7pm theater experience on Thursday night the 18th was filled dads taking young daughters on dates, crying 2 year olds, and a whole host of kids around the kindergarten age. Many of those parents who brought kids are my friends and they were probably like me, buying tickets while reminiscing about the 1977 version of Star Wars that we loved as children.  Guess what, the 1977 movie was only rated "PG", and it was a 1977 version of "PG", which means that it was milder than "PG" rated movies today. 

This movie is rated PG-13 because it is not intended for your young children. 

So today's Star Wars: The Force Awakens, is wonderfully entertaining, with nostalgia, plot twists, and non-stop action sequences that keep any adults eyes glued to the screen.  But it is a long time ago and a far, far away cry from the Star Wars of your youth.  Please think twice before immersing your children into this newest cultural obsession.

If you want to learn more about the content of movies like Star Wars, check out IMBD's Parent's Guide.  It's not the most accurate, but it is a decent tool to educate yourself about a movie's content. 


P.S. - I understand that you may disagree.  I understand that you may raise your children different than me.  I understand you may be mad at me because you "LOVE" Star Wars and it sounds like I am dissing your favorite fantasy film franchise.  If you're mad at this point, please, go sip an Alderaanian Smoothie (yes, it does exist in Wookipeedia), then feel free to add to the conversation with intelligent dialogue by emailing me at christopher@washingtoncoc.org.  Remember "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” - Yoda









Some Bible verses we all probably need to take a meditative look at:
"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." - Proverbs 22:6

"The LORD tests the righteous and the wicked, And the one who loves violence His soul hates." - Psalm 11:5

Two weeks-off - It's Brrr chilly today! My general rule is, if it is under 40 degrees at play time, it's too chilly for the average player to enjoy the game. Plus our string become a little more brittle at colder temps. Next Week is Christmas, so let's hold out for good new year's weather! Merry Christmas!

DCH Christmas Party Photo Booth

Click on a photo in the slideshow to download a high resolution version.

In volunteering some photography time at the hospital, I learned how to create an automated photobooth with my laptop, camera, and remote flashes. Then my printer automatically printed these out within 1 minute for participants and emailed them a copy. Photoboothing was a lot of fun at the DCH Christmas party. Here's a couple of the results! Who's next!?

All the high resolution photos are ready for download free at www.topherwiles.com.

"A joyful heart is good medicine." - Proverbs 17:22a

A Library Visit With Santa!

The Washington Carnegie Library put on a wonderful finale to their annual music and arts program.  Santa, his elf, and a holiday mouse came to play as well!  Here are the photos of the event in a high resolution web album.  Click the photo you want or follow the link to download the high resolution files free of charge.  Once the individual photo is on the screen, click "Actions" and "Download Photo" to get the best quality file. No need to photo credits: use them as you like and have a very Merry Christmas!

https://picasaweb.google.com/115120964075449363994/ALibraryVisitWithSanta2015?authuser=0&feat=directlink

Appalachian Trail Itinerary

Nov Backpacking Trip Itinerary

November 23-26, 2015

Driving calculated at average 50 mph

Hiking calculated at average 2 mph

Total Round Trip Driving Mileage - 842 miles

Calculated Gas Expense

• 25 mpg = 33.68 gals
• $2 per gallon = $67.36

Total Hiking Mileage - 19.0 miles

Total New Mileage of Appalachian Trail - 12.9 miles

Monday, Nov 23rd - Total Miles (2.8)

Weather Forecast  at Clingman's Dome - Clear 45-41 degrees

3:30am - Awake

4:30am - Drive to Newfound Gap - (416 miles) (8.5 hrs)

• Lat:  35°36'40.75"N    Long:  83°25'35.93"W
• Stop at Sugarland's Visitor Center to pay for back country permit

1:00pm - Arrive at Newfound Gap parking lot

1:30pm - Take Shuttle to Clingman's Dome Parking Lot

• Lat:   35°33'20.94"N    Long: 83°29'43.44"W

2:00pm - Begin hiking to Double Spring Shelter (2.8)

• Clingman's Dome Bypass Trail (0.5) (uphill)
• Appalachian Trail (2.3) (downhill)

3:30pm - Arrive at Double Spring Shelter

• http://www.wikitrail.org/features/view/at/25737/double-spring-gap-shelter
• Lat:   35°33'55.27"N    Long:  83°32'33.37"W

5:22pm - Sunset

Tuesday, Nov 22nd - Total Miles (6.3)

Weather Forecast  at Clingman's Dome - Clear 57-45 degrees

7:18am - Sunrise

10am - Hike to Clingman's Dome - (2.5) (uphill)

11:30am - Arrive at Clingman's Dome - Tour and take photos. Eat lunch.

12:30pm - Hike to Mount Collins Shelter (3.8) (varied)

• Appalachian Trail (3.5)
• Sugarland Mountain Trail (0.3)

2:30pm - Arrive at Mount Collins Shelter

• http://www.wikitrail.org/features/view/at/25644/mt-collins-shelter
• Lat:   35°35'39.29"N  Long:  83°28'15.98"W

5:22pm - Sunset

Wednesday, Nov 25th - Total Miles (7.2)

Weather Forecast  at Clingman's Dome - Clear 55-45 degrees

7:19am - Sunrise

10:00am - Hike to Newfound Gap (4.5) (downhill)

• Sugarland Mountain Trail (0.3)
• Appalachian Trail (4.2)

12:30am - Tour, Take Photos, Eat Lunch

2:00pm - Hike to Icewater Spring Shelter (2.7) (uphill)

• Appalachian Trail (2.7)

4:00pm - Arrive at Icewater Spring Shelter

• http://www.wikitrail.org/features/view/at/25270/icewater-spring-shelter
• Lat:  35°37'41.35"N   Long:  83°23'25.39"W
• If time permits, hike out to Charlie's Bunion overlook.

5:22pm - Sunset

Thursday, Nov 26th - Total Miles (2.7)

Weather Forecast  at Clingman's Dome - Clear 59-54 degrees

7:20am - Sunrise

8:00am - Hike to Newfound Gap (2.7) (downhill)

9:30am - Arrive at Mini-Van at Newfound Gap Parking Lot

10:00am - Drive to Washington, Indiana (8.5 hrs)

6:30pm - Arrive for Thanksgiving Dinner