By: Topher Wiles
Last week my wife and I celebrated our
seventeenth anniversary with one of our kids duly noting, “Your marriage is old
enough to drive and almost old enough to vote!”
Ashley and I have celebrated this momentous occasion by eating out,
watching our wedding video & vows that I converted from VHS, and taking a marriage
assessment test (I know, fun right?). One of the greatest blessings in our
marriage has been to listen and reflect on the inspired wisdom of others
concerning love and marriage.
Instead offering my own marriage experience for your inspiration, I want to
share with you thoughts on marriage that inspire me from a collection of
letters from another's extraordinary life. Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a
German protestant minister who wrote from prison before his 1945 execution at
the hands of Hitler's Nazis. On May 15th, 1943, approximately 6 weeks
after his arrest and missing the wedding ceremony of close friends due to being
held in prison, Dietrich wrote these thoughts on marriage to the newlyweds.
"Marriage is more than your love for each
other. It has a higher dignity and power, for it is God's holy ordinance,
through which He wills to perpetuate the human race till the end of time.
In your love, you see only your two selves in the world, but in marriage you
are a link in the chain of generations. In your love you see only the
heaven of your own happiness, but in marriage you are placed at a post of
responsibility towards the world and mankind. Your love is your own
private possession, but marriage is more than something personal. It is
marriage and not merely your love for each other, that joins you together in
the sight of God and man. Your love comes from you, but your marriage is
from above, from God. As high as God is above man, so high are the
sanctity, the rights, and the promise of marriage above the sanctity, the
rights, and the promise of love. It is not your love that sustains the
marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love."
Today, I find Dietrich Bonhoeffer's letter writings on marriage from a Nazi prison
to be refreshing and empowering. I believe the modern view marriage has
often been reduced to an extravagant party or a temporary civil union. Bonhoeffer’s
marital declaration bolsters my resolve to care for the marriage God has given
me with my wife. It reminds me of my marriage's purpose as a practical
use in humanity but also as an example of God's designs for others.
Bonhoeffer's writings echo the strong sentiments of scripture about marriage
such as these writings from other letters:
"Let marriage be held in
honor among all." - Hebrews 13:4a
"For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall
be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is
great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless,
each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the
wife must see to it that she respects her husband." - Ephesians
Ashley and I want marriages in our community to not only survive,
but to thrive. We know that families thrive
best when marriages are healthy. Kids tend
to be happier and well cared for when mom and dad are enjoying a loving and
trusting relationship. (for more on the effects of a happy marriage, visit the
Huff Post article here: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/happy-marriage-happy-kids_b_828370)
If we can help you strengthen your family by encouraging your
marriage relationship, offering marital resources, or by praying for you to our
God, please let us know. May your family
be blessed with fortitude through marriage!
The word “forte” comes from the latin word “fortis” meaning strength. Our weekly Family Forte article in The Expositor is the effort of family at Central Church of Christ to give your family the love, care, and attention it needs to become a stronger version of itself. If we can help you in any way, please contact us at Central Church of Christ through email, email@example.com, or through our website, www.spartacoc.com.
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