Family Forte: An Ace You Can Keep

Kenny Rogers passed away on
March 20, 2020.

Thinking about Mother’s Day reminded me of a sad song my late mother used to sing along with on the car radio that was released the year I was born.   While I don’t agree with much of what’s stated in the song, late Kenny Roger’s (died March 20, 2020) pensive lyrics about winning and losing hold a valuable truth.  

The Gambler’s well known chorus reads like this:

“You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, Know when to fold ‘em

Know when to walk away, And know when to run

You never count your money, When you’re sittin’ at the table

There’ll be time enough for countin’, When the dealin’s done”

The chorus is easy to sing, but one line of the song is our focus as Kenny Roger’s sings, “Every hand’s a winner and every hand’s a loser…”

Perhaps it was my dad’s racing team that got me focused on winning and losing.  At three days old I was at the dragstrip as that 1968 royal blue Chevy Nova careened down the asphalt.  When I was big enough, dad put me in charge of pulling a water sprayer in my red Radio Flyer wagon to cool off the radiator after every run down the track.  Then I began to win and lose myself.  Bridge building, speech, glider flying, math bowl, science quiz-bowl, mechanical drafting, spelling bee, baseball, tennis, basketball, wrestling, and bowling are just a few of the events I competed in during my adolescent years.  Add to that the twenty-five seasons that I’ve coached athletic teams and you can tell I’ve won and lost a lot of games in my 41 years. 

One of the most important concepts that keeps me competing is what Kenny Rogers summed up when he sang, “Every hand’s a winner and every hand’s a loser…”

At first read, this line sounds like a logical contradiction.  I know parents who believe a pretty saying like this can’t possibly be true.  I know players who find it too confusing to have any merit.  It’s true that for many of my opponents over the years who have such a short-sighted view of competition, this verse remains an enigma.  For people who only care about the physical scoreboard when time runs out, this line makes no sense.  To truly understand the deep and profound wisdom of “Every Hand” from The Gambler, you need to know these three fundamental truths. 

1) The true game is life.  The way some people lose their religion when competing makes it appear that trophies, rings, and scoreboards are all that matter.  Jesus didn’t sum it all up by saying, “Win competitions and bring home some hardware.”  The Lord of all Creation knew that our competition is beyond the ball field when He shared His winning strategy, “Love God and Love your Neighbor” (paraphrase of Matthew 22:36-40).  Winning at life is the only thing that matters.

2) You can’t control the hand you’re dealt.  Just like any gambler will tell you, we can’t control what cards are laying on the table of life.  You can’t control when a pandemic will hit or where a tornado will strike.  You can’t control where you were born, the social class you were born into, the skin color you were born with, or the parents you were given.  Jesus, in sharing wisdom about life said it this way, “He gives His sunlight to both the evil and the good, and He sends rain on the just and unjust alike” (Matthew 5:25b).  Each event contains the potential to win or lose toward the game of life.

3) Whether each hand is a win or a loss is determined completely by you.  Every hand truly is a winner or a loser based solely on your perspective of sunlight and rain.  Paul shared the winning perspective this way to Roman Christians who struggled with bitterness in life, “We know that for those who love God all things work together for good” (Romans 8:28a).  It is your attitude that determines if the hand dealt that day is a loss or is something that “works together for good” for your growth and those around you. 

Our area has seen its share of mishaps lately with storm damage, tornado fatalities, property tax increases, and coronavirus closures.  Yet, in all of it we’ve witnessed the goodness of our community coming together to love and serve each other in new, unique, and unprecedented ways.  Even though the cards we were dealt look rough, we look at it and think that God has given us a winning hand. 

Remember, the true game is not your job, your sports, or your awards.  The true game is life.  You can’t control the hand you’re dealt, but winning or losing with your hand depends on you.

“Every gambler knows
That the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away
And knowin' what to keep
'Cause every hand's a winner
And every hand's a loser”  – Kenny Rogers in “The Gambler”

The great wisdom writer of Ecclesiastes went through all the high and low hands in the game of life and at the end he concluded with a winning strategy and perspective that we’ll be blessed to learn. “The end of the matter; after all has been heard is this. Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” (Ecclesiastes 12:13)  Friends, that’s an ace that you can keep.

The word “forte” comes from the latin word “fortis” meaning strength.  Our weekly Family Forte article in The Expositor is the effort of family at Central Church of Christ to give your family the love, care, and attention it needs to become a stronger version of itself.  If we can help you in any way, please contact us at Central Church of Christ through email, topherwiles@spartacoc.com, or through our website, www.spartacoc.com.